How the loss of my Mother gave me the Power of Self Love

I was 9 years old when my Mother committed suicide. After several years battling post natal depression and juggling 3 young kids and the household, she was highly spiritual, but the Doctors solution was prescription drugs, and in the 1980's to be labelled suicidal, depressed was a stigma and you were put in a box almost immediately. She was on her own journey. I recall her listening to relaxation tapes, but when those around her struggled to connect with her on an emotional, spiritual level, she was outcast. My Mother was a way shower, but when those around her weren't tuned in and didn't listen, she was seen as different.

I too always felt different from the outside once I lost My Mother. Placed into a box, as the motherless girl, or looked at with pity and sorrow. But within I felt great awareness, awakening, wisdom, that only truely could have happened to me because of the situation I was to overcome. I allowed my life to unfold from an early age, learnt to surrender to what ever obstacles were thrown in my way. Learnt to avoid particular situations or energies. Was highly sensitive and only as I've matured, I've learnt how to master this gift to the best of my ability. Having been wisely guided also by a very wise Father & Grandmother, who had to pick up the pieces of a broken family and move us forward with pride. My Father worked solidly throughout my childhood, and now lives a very peaceful, simple, conscious life.

What I'm trying to say, is when you are hit with the death of a Mother, child, wife, husband unexpectedly, what worse could ever actually happen to you? Nothing! No matter where the river flows you will overcome the rapids with calm and fluidity.

Having never been a follower and always enjoyed an adventure and challenge, life has offered me some amazing gifts. Never chased ideas or moments, but early on I discovered the tool of SELF LOVE. When you look within, and allow the journey of life to unfold with inner connection and focus on yourself and tune in, you will be guided always. Fear or ego or worry cannot intervene. The desire to care for yourself and listen to your inner guidance becomes your inner GPS.

So, when I lost my Mother at 9 years old, I didn't lose love or a suffer a broken heart, I was triggered and ignited to light my own light from within and be the master of my own journey. Not expect love from anyone else, and be the provider of love for others I meet along the way. Plus open up to an even greater power of love.

And I truly believe I would not be the Woman, Mother I am today if it was not for my Mother. I'm grateful for that! She and her mother still light my way.

So, be grateful for every moment in every day & find love in yourself to light the way for others with balance and harmony in life.

Love & Light

Jessica

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